How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
