If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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