I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
