Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
