i just had sex bonerless
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
