She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize