My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize