My first STD was from a foam party
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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