it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
