You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
