Are we in a gay sports bar?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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