Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize