I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
