if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
