yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
