and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
