Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
