Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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