No, you can still breathe under the balls.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
