I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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