the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
