You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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