Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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