she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sorry my hands just texted you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize