I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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