my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
