try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
