And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
