i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
