fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
