Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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