Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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