come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
