The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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