I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
