Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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