Kiss
Puke
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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