we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
