I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
