the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
