you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
