fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
