i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
