Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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