I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
