yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
