i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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