i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
