who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize