I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
