theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
