So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
