were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
