Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize