Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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