I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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