Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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