so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We need to rekindle our bromance
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
