i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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