dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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