If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
