Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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