i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
