And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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